


All for a good cause .The naked calander

by orphan_account



Series: All for a good cause [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: M/M, Naked Dwarves, You Have Been Warned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-02 15:54:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8673394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Dis is a Do Gooder a beautiful force of nature and while Fili and Thorin run Erebor Enterprises she comes up with cunning schemes to raise money for her beloved charities .This year its a naked calendar in time for Christmas .Part two of all for a good cause or can be read as a work in its own right .





	1. January

                                                The Hot Dwalfs Christmas Calendar

 

"What do you think ?" Dis looked across the large office to where her son sat slumped across the sofa .

"I think Thorin's going to have a meltdown ,that's what I think " Dis grinned .

"By the time I have all the promotional material in place he won't be left with a choice ". Fili raised himself and wandered over to where his mother was sat behind the large desk .

"Do you not think that this may be one step too far ?" Dis waved her hand ,instantly dismissing Fili's negative comment .

"Thorin is way too reserved ,he's still only forty for gods sake ,and now he's been working out a little I have to say he's in pretty good shape ,now why not put all that hard work towards a good cause".

Fili settled himself on the edge of his mothers desk ."Maybe because he's head of a huge corporation  and it maybe extremely embarrassing for him next time he has one of his high powered meetings,not to mention the media attention it will bring".

 "Nonsense ,all publicity is good Fili ,remember that ". Fili lent forward ,pressing a kiss to his mother's cheek .All the boys knew that when Dis had one of her ideas there would be no arguing with her but for all her crazy schemes they wouldn't have her any other way .

 

"Bilbo are you there ? Kili walked into the office of the little jewellery company .

"In here " Pouring himself a coffee ,kili  wandered through to the little design studio where he found both Bilbo and Bofur lent over one of the design desks .

"Kili what do you think of these stones ,they came in today ",Wandering over Kili lent forward and studied the new stones .

"They're exquisite ,are they for a particular commission ?" Bilbo hummed .

"No but they were so dam pretty I couldn't resist them " .pinching Kili's coffee cup he took a sip

"I don't suppose I could get you to come up with a design ?".

Bofur had wandered off only to return moments later with some white gold .

"I was thinking of setting them in this ,what do you think ?" The brunette looked at his two friends expectant faces .

"I think I'll be in tomorrow first thing and start work ". Bofurs face cracked open into a smile and Bilbo pulled the brunette into a hug .

"Thankyou I know you have lots to do before the wedding but we do appreciate it ."

"Actually there's something I need to ask in return .Dis is putting together one of her charity projects and she sent me to ask for your support" .

"Of course anything " Kili looked relived .

"That's great I'll let her know ". Bofur smiled ,both men would do anything for Dis and Kili couldn't help but think that was just as well .

"Okay I have to shoot but I will see you tomorrow " both men nodded it would be like old times ,the three of them in the little workshop .

Kili was just leaving when Bilbo stopped him "What scheme has Dis come up with this time, tell me it's not another road race ? ". Kili hesitated for a moment .

" No It's a naked calendar and your April " .

 

"No absolutely not " Thorin strode back and forth across the large office ,his hands clasped behind his back and his eyebrows drawn together in a scowl ."It's a bloody stupid idea Dis and I'm having nothing to do with it ".Fili was busy hiding in the other office .Thorin was formidable, the strong uncle he had looked up too ever since he was little but with Dis he had more than met his match .

" So because of your vanity ,children will go hungry " Thorin turned to face his sister.

"Don't you dare blame me , I just think the whole idea is crazy and I'm not doing it, do you understand ? ".Dis had reached for the Gin ,which was never a good sign .

"You have to do it ,I have put your name on the press release ,your going to be the season of good will ,your going to be my December ".

 

                                                                JANUARY

 

Its bloody freezing " Bofur was standing in a floral dressing gown in the middle of the kitchen .

"How the hell am I suppose to look sexy when it's feckin freezing in here ? "

Dis appeared from the other room "Dori's ready ,now where is my January ? ".Dwalin appeared suddenly ,just a towel wrapped around his waist "Arr good there you are " Dis lent over and placed a quick kiss on her boyfriends lips ."Your up first " Dwalin quirked a brow and Dis giggled ."Later big boy ,now go have your photo taken and try to look sexy".

Dis did a quick head count ,she was missing some of her calendar ."Where is my October and November ?" Bofur grinned .

"I think they nipped out to the barn for a bit ". Dis huffed Her son and his brunette couldn't keep their hands off each other for five bloody minutes ,really !

"And where is my December " Dis picked up her phone and began to dial ,Thorin was going to be her Festive Treat whether he liked it or not :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Febuary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Febuary :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enough people seemed to quite my random idea so for all those people here is February :)

                                                                                 

 

                                                                                              FEBRUARY.

 

 

February was busy straightening his hair ,next to him Bilbo observed ."Do you have to do that every day ? " The elf frowned in thought .

"Yah usually this weather plays havoc with it, all the moisture in the air makes it go curly ".Bilbo hummed and looked at his own unruly mop of curls .

"I see " Legolas glanced at the little hobbit as he pulled at his hair in a vain attempt to straighten it .

"Not that I don't like curls you understand " Legolas winked and the little man felt the heat, as his cheeks turned pink . "It's just that us Elves are suppose to have straight hair and well it sometimes takes a little effort ".

From the other room they could Dis on the phone to Thorin ."Thorin Oakenshield I swear you need to get that hairy backside down here now ".

Bilbo scrunched up his nose and looked back at Legolas "Do you think Thorin's got a hairy backside ? " Legolas thought for a moment ,picturing his Gilmi with no clothes .

"Almost certainly ,Dwarfs are prone to being extremely hairy ". Bilbo nodded "Gilmi certainly has but I like it ,makes him all cuddly in bed ,you know ? "

Bilbo tried to imagine a naked hairy Thorin and found himself blushing at the mere thought . Beside him Legolas grinned "There's only one way to find out " and with a last dab of lip gloss the Elf was gone .

Fili nuzzled into Kili ,pressing baby kisses against his warm skin .Kili shuddered as Fili's body pressed against his own "Come on baby there're only on February ,we still have seven months .

"But we'll get dirty " That was exactly what Fili was hoping for .

"It's alright baby ,I'll clean you up afterwards ".

Kili was October and with her love of traditions ,Dis had dressed the little brunette up as a pussy cat with kitten ears a long tail for the month of Halloween and his boyfriend couldn't resist . Kili felt a gentle tug on his tail pulling him closer to his blonde ,Damm Fili could be very persuasive at times and after a heated kiss from his lover Kili finally admitted defeat .

"You've smudged my whiskers " Fili grinned ,almost purring himself ,Dis was going to be seriously pissed .

>                                                                                  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. March

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bofur was March but that was until there was an unexpected guest :)

"Five minutes Mr Thranduil . Legolas's father had rocked up with a whole bloody entourage and had completely taken over the sitting room .

Bilbo wandered in with some refreshments but was quickly ushered away .

Peeking around the corner he watched as several hairdressers perfected Thranduil's hair, while another applied his makeup .The Elf's long ,lean body had been oiled and Bilbo could see it shimmering under the lights .

Bilbo glanced down at his own little paunch and instantly regretted the two bacon sandwiches he'd had for breakfast. If only he had been given some notice he would have gone on a diet , worked at the gym a little .

Moments later Thranduil swept past followed by some of his entourage and Bilbo peered back in the room .One of the hairdressers remained and the guy who did the spray tan , Bilbo hesitated ,he could do with a little help and there was no harm in asking was there?

"What the fuck Bilbo ,you look like a bloody poodle " Bofur grinned at his friend .Bilbo huffed and tugged at one of his curls .

"I thought they might straighten it but they just made it even curlier " Bofur pulled his friend into a hug .

"It looks grand so it does " Bilbo smiled "and I'm sure Thorin will like when he does finally show " The little man blushed.

"Do you think so " Bofur nodded .

"They did a spray tan as well " Bofur face suddenly lit up a little colour wouldn't hurt, now would it .

 

Dis hadn't known that Thranduil would rock up but a part of her was truly grateful to the annoying Elf . Personally she thought her boys were damm sexy but they may not to be to everyones tastes and an Elf here and there would only go towards increasing sales .

Scanning the room she looked for her son who was still nowhere to be seen . "Dwalin darling be a sweetie and go and find Fili for me " .

Elfs were fine but it was time for a young hot Dwarf .

 

 

/p>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. April

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April

Dis reached for the gin .It was early yet but she needed a large glassful of her favourite tipple .

Out of the corner of her eye she could see Bofur and Bilbo ,both of whom had turned a peculiar colour.

"Dwalin, thank god ,have you seen Fili ,I need to restore some sort of normality to this .Firstly two months have been hijacked by elves and now both Bilbo and Bofur have turned a weird tangerine colour ". Dwalin smirked pressing a kiss on his lovers lips .

" You have a mighty fine January ,though I say it myself " Dis quirked a brow

"You didn't come without your own set of problems ,we needed considerably bigger baubles " . Dwalin grinned ,looking rather smug .

"Are you complaining ?" finishing her drink Dis shook her head .

"Never darling ".

Fili had his little kitty cat pinned up against the barn wall . October was looking completely ravished and Fili was enjoying every moment .

"Purr for me baby " Kili whimpered as Fili thrust into him "That's it baby fili's going to make his little kitty feel so very good ".

Kili gripped tightly as Fili hitched up his legs ,altering the angle of his thrusts ,he was close they both were ,Filli's thrusts becoming a little more erratic .

"Fili your mother needs you " It was Dwalins voice .

"Give us a minute " Fili panted " I'm just coming".

.


	5. May

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Firstly an apology .I was rushing to complete this before Christmas and failed miserably :(  
> Secondly I resorted to sourcing fanart and the gorgeous picture of Thorin that I used on closer inspection had strict instructions from the artist that he didn't want people using the image .  
> That said I will continue if people out there wish me too but it will be at a more leisurely pace and with my own or carefully selected images .  
> To compensate you get a picture of Bard (Phew ) x

Dis tried not to stare ,she really did but she just couldn't help herself .

Bard had taken part in the race but hadn't really mixed with the group all that much . Dis secretly  had a hunch that something may well be going on between him and Thrandil but Legolas would not be drawn on the subject and shrugged off any questions .

"Bard how lovely of you to come " Dis was trying not to look at the mans exposed torso and was failing horribly . The trouble was she was considerably shorter than Bard which meant that her gaze was fixed on his six pack and extremely pert nipples .

From behind her she heard someone cough and turned to see Dwalin eyeing her carefully .

"You best go through laddie ,Dori's waiting for you and we wouldn't want you catching a cold now would we ,the sooner the picture's been taken the sooner you can put some clothes back on ".

Dis secretly hoped that it might take a few shots to get just the right picture of Bard and as for any spare copies ,well she may just discreetly ask Dori to put them to one side for her.

Thorin sighed as he pulled onto the driveway .His skin was still painful from the back, sack and crack waxing he had undergone at The Pamper Parlour and his nether regions still felt incredibly sore, if the swelling didn't go down soon then, they may well need some carefully placed holly and red berries.

 

  

 


	6. june

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gimli is extremely hairy and not one picture has him exposing any flesh so lets imagine he is naked under all that beard .To compensate you get extra Legolas:)

Thorin and Gimli had arrived at the same time .Thorin was quiet unlike Gimli who instantly went and sucked face with his boyfriend Legolas .When Gilmi saw the images of his lover he attempted to drag the blonde off in the direction of the nearest bedroom ,only to be stopped by an exasperated Dis .

"For gods sake can't you boys keep your hands off each off each other for five minutes",Shaking her head she grabbed her gin ."You all need to take a cold shower ,I have already lost my October and I'm not loosing anyone else okay ".

Legolas glanced down at the large bulge in Gimli's trousers ."June could be an interesting month ".Gimli grinned and waggled his eyebrows .

"Well if you've got it flaunt it as they say ".

Thorin appeared in the doorway "Dis a word please ". Noting her brothers serious tone, Dis followed Thorin  out of the room ".

"They're out of control ,Dis look at them ,have you even thought this through ".Dis chose to ignore her brother .

"Everythings perfectly in control , Gimli's just a little over excited that's all ".

Thorin looked back to where Gilmi had just grabbed a handful of Legolas's arse and was pretending to hump his boyfriend .

Thorin was just giving her another of his disapproving looks, when suddenly the back door swung open.

October  wandered in with smudged whiskers, lopsided ears and a numerous amount of fresh hiccies .

"Kili what the hell ",  that son of hers just couldn't keep his dick in his pants for five minutes .She dragged the dishevelled kitty in the direction of the bathroom "Makeup we are going to need a considerable amount of concealer ".

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	7. July

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Kili love :)

 July Kili .

Dis hauled the naughty little Kitty off to the nearest bathroom to give him a thorough wash .Thorin glared at his nephew who had sensibly hidden himself away from his mothers wrath.

Making his way over to Dwalin ,he grabbed himself a beer enroute ,the only way he was going to survive this was with the help of alcohol ,lots of alcohol .Dwalin greeted him with a smile .

"You came then " Thorin nodded

"Did I ever really have a choice ? " Dwalin laughed and shook his head .

"No not really ,not unless you wanted your knackers cut off and fed to the birds " .

"She's quite something my sister " .Dwalin hummed .

"Aye she is ,but I wouldn't have her any other way " and despite everything ,Thorin had to hum in agreement .

Dis looked at the now tatty bunny ears ."Their ruined and look ,your tails all bent ".

"Sorry " Kili felt incredibly guilty "You were going to be my Halloween special ,dam it ". Dis huffed in defeat.

Thorin pulled on his beer " Have you been in already ? " Dwalin nodded .

"Your looking at January " He pulled out the photo's and showed Thorin.

"Nice ".Thorin nodded his approval .

"There were a couple of issues though ,we needed bigger baubles ,you know ,to hide me modesty".Thorin frowned .

"How big "

"Considerably bigger " Thorin frowned again .Dwalin had needed really big baubles ,what if he only needed little baubles ,how embarrassing would that be ,to be head of a massive company and only have little baubles .What would Bilbo think ? Frowning he glanced down at his lap ,he had a big dick ,well he always thought it was big but what if compared to everyone else it was only small .Making his excuses he slid out of the chair ,he needed to see those other images and fast .

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Okay this is a bit of a whim. I have thrown this out as a taster.  
> Each month has a chapter taking us up to Christmas.  
> I will include an image if I can :)  
> Feedback would be fabulous .


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